“Everything is fair in love and war.” (3 idiots, 2009)
“True love; our love spans for many lifetimes. We love for seven lives. We learnt for to fall in love from films. Yash Chopra. Sooraj Barjatiya. Raj Kapoor. Karan Johar. These people taught us how to love.
Aamir Khan; he takes a bullet in the chest for love (Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak)
Shahrukh Khan; He spent 20 years in jail for a two-day love (Veer Zaara)
Salman Khan; he shaved his head and gave up his life for love (Tere Naam)
This is how we love.” (Loveyatri, 2018)
I recently watched Loveyatri and after Susu’s Mama spoke out the dialogue above with such passion it got me thinking about how Bollywood has created a perception of love that all us Bollywood fans most probably have fallen for. The perception of the ‘love at first sight’ kind of love and the love that no matter what, where or when love will always be the winner.
Every Bollywood love story must have an obstacle, obviously otherwise there wouldn’t be a story line right? But, whether it is a strict Dad like in Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge or rivalling families like in Ram Leela or then there’s the lover-killer principle like in Mohabbatein or the general concept of love marriages being a challenge for the two lovers, we still see the happily ever after at the end.
I’ve been a Bollywood fan before I was even born! The love for Bollywood was given to me by my Mum; her dancing Bollywood, singing Bollywood, watching Bollywood. To those Sunday afternoon’s watching the latest Bollywood film that came out on video but the biggest memory for me is watching Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, Taal and Dil To Pagal Hai rotating each week because I just could not get enough of them. From the dance off scene between Madhuri and Karisma to Aishwarya dancing around in the rain. The love was all so romantic, glamorous, dreamy and sweet after all the fighting, family politics, misunderstandings and the famous behind the scenes interfering that someone is trying to do to stop the dreamy love. But, like we learn in Bollywood films…. Love will always win!
Until off course I grew up and I was actually able to experience the reality of what Bollywood films seemed to miss. My perception of love, which was solely created by Bollywood, was very much the ‘Simran and Raj’ type love, or the Rahul ‘pyar dosti hai’ (love is friendship) dialogue. While there are many other Bollywood films that influence the famous dialogue of ‘a boy and girl cannot just be friends’ as well as, so there is this influence of even if a boy and girl are friends that could potential form into a romantic love.
The love at first sight at is a great classic for Bollywood; without knowing the person you are in love with them just by that first look at them. As well as, from not even seeing each other’s faces before marriage suddenly you fall so deeply in love with each other like in Jodha Akbar, but saying that Bollywood films generations ago very much promoted the ‘love happens after marriage’ so I guess Bollywood has explored that type of love that could be considered as a realistic situation, without all the glamorising attached.
There is the thing of no matter what background, family situation or status everything will be fine because in the end they will fall in love and everyone will live happily ever after. There is such hope that gets created through the films that you mistakenly take that hope into the reality of your own love life. But, reality taught me that yes love is important but in the society that we live in today having the same understanding, having respect for each other, being loyal to each other, accepting compromise and having genuine trust between each other is just as important. Because, one day let’s say that love fades and the ‘honeymoon’ period fades and then that is when realism will show whether it is true love or whether it is a 2 and a half hour Bollywood film type love.
"The story of two birds.
Their worlds were different,
One was made for the skies; And the other for the cage.
But they fell in love.
Even after many efforts,
The bird couldn’t live in the cage; Nor could the other one sour in the skies;
But their love never diminished.’" (Jabeli, 2018)
I heard this in the film released in 2018 called Jabeli and kinder felt this film and that quote reflects the reality of love in today’s society. The film emphasising that even when two people love each other sometimes their destination is not always meant to be together no matter how much they love each other; this could be something that many people have experienced and the aspect of ‘time to move on’ would happen for some people. The value of compromise is majority explored in this film; we see Dev sacrificing his love for Aisha (his wife) by letting her leave and letting her believe that he does not love her because she endlessly moaned at him that she felt she had compromised her career and her life to him and his family after marrying him. This is a glimpse of the love marriage reality; falling in love and not realising the compromises that will come with that love. Aisha says that getting married made her lose who she was and whilst Dev loved her he know that they wanted different things and that their love was holding her back.
But saying that, after watching Sui Dhaaga I realised that Bollywood portrayed Mauji and Mamta’s love as the ‘power couple’ type of love. The sort of love that you found in the olden Bollywood films; the love that is pure and effortless like in Kabhi Kabhi where the eyes were the communication and poems were known as romantic. And, the courage that love took place in the films back then! When we see Veeru in Sholay threatening to jump off the water tank after Basanti's Mausi rejected his proposal – drunken or not, I guess it showed the courage and the steps love (or rejection) can make you take!
But if there wasn’t the fairy tale, fantasy, dreamy love that we escape into when watching Bollywood films then maybe Bollywood wouldn’t have got as far as it has got to-date, right? And Bollywood has kept up with the changing dynamics of what love is perceived in the millennium society; it’s not all about the listening out for violins anymore!
You can see that Bollywood is exploring many ideas around how love is embraced in the culture and society that we have grown into; from exploring gender in relationships with Rahul’s homosexuality in Kapoor and Sons. As well as one film that I never will get fed-up of giving credit to, Ek Ladki Ko Dekha Toh Aisa Laga which explores the difficulties faced by Sweety with telling her family (specifically her father) that she is in love with a girl. You can feel the form of suffocation that Sweety experiences throughout the film – hats off to Sonam Kapoor Ahuja’s acting in this film!
We then saw Bollywood getting risky by allowing us viewers to see the physical attraction side of love; the days when the scene would come on and then everyone would rush to cover the kid’s eyes with their hands (or a Chuni – mostly what my Nani did!) but this was definitely a revolution Bollywood and a generational progress. We have seen an increase in showing physical attraction between the couples in the films and whilst Bollywood seeks to move with the times there is this constant battle over the representation of women being sedative and exposing temptation whilst ensuring that they keep within a boundary that present physical attraction that must be approved by both people in the couple. I will always remember my Mum saying about the steamy scene in Roop Tera Mastana song from Aradhana; which had viewers back then left jaw-dropped to now Bollywood is taking some would say risk but taking the step to explore physical attraction as a norm without that stigma attached.
As well as credit given to Bollywood for exploring love around gender, it has also explored the stereotypical roles in a relationship. The traditional housewife role of who is always waiting at the door for her husband to come home ready with a glass of water for them and then telling them that their food is cooked. But, it was refreshing to watch this stereotypical role switched around with Kia and Kabir in Ki & Ka which fully illustrates that gender doesn’t matter in a relationship; whether you are the boy or girl, either one of you can be the housewife or breadwinner.
And another one of my favourites, not only because Deepika Padukone was a key cast in this film but because this film explored to some extent of the reality of love, commitment and relationships. Piku puts all her focus, time and commitment into taking care of her father who has constipation and bowel problems. Piku knows what works for her Dad and what doesn’t, when he needs medicine and when he doesn’t; her life and focus is her Dad and even while we see something romantic grow with Rana she still remains committed to her Dad’s care.
Bollywood has explored the different dynamics of love throughout the past few years; from Kabir saying no to commitment because he wants to ‘fly’ and not have dal chawal till he dies in Yeh Jawaani Hai Jewaani, to showing an affair look ever so sweet between Maya and Dev in Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna, to promoting the whole ‘makeup breakup patch-up’ culture, in conjunction to then seeing Padmavati walk into fire in the name of her love.
No matter what Bollywood does to explore love, the classic scene that will always live in my eyes for Bollywood will be Raj holding his hand out to Simran whilst on the moving train trying to grab her onto the train with him; that scene for many Bollywood fans will always be our perception of love created by the all so glamorous Bollywood. But, it’s definitely refreshing and proud to see that Bollywood has moved with the times and somewhat reality is being considered more important than creating the ‘happy ending.’ The Bollywood industry is a fast pace growing industry and love is the heart beat of the industry so let’s encourage this industry to create a perception of love as it really is in reality.
